Posts Tagged ‘religion or whatever’

No, sir, God does NOT hate boobs.

posted on Monday, April 27th, 2010 under General Ramblings, Things that piss me off |

I was watching the news this morning (always a mistake, but I have to know what weather to dress for and those sneaky rat bastards are constantly drizzling weather nuggets throughout the whole damn show so you have to watch at least 3 segments before you really know what’s 50% likely to happen outside today…and doesn’t “weather nuggets” sound like it’s gonna rain poo?? That’d be disgusting but funny from inside…).

Anyway, I caught a preview of the story they were doing on Boobquake. If you’re not familiar, read the Facebook page. I happen to find it hilarious that a religious nutball thinks immodest dress causes earthquakes (and it pisses me off that he also believes a woman’s form of dress essentially validates rape and adultery as it causes men to “go astray,” which in turn causes earthquakes). But what really made me laugh till I farted (I like to think my ass was laughing, too) was a video clip of a protest where a man was holding a sign that read, “GOD HATES BOOBS!” Even funnier? The “oo” was blurred out. Really? We feel the need to censor to WORD boob? Wowza.

God hates boobs, eh? I’ll play your game for a second, you self-righteous bigot. Let’s say I absolutely believe in God. God created everything. God wants humans to procreate and thus created humans to do so. Okay, if that’s true, then obviously God created boobs. They feed the children born through the process God created. So how, pray tell, does it even make an inkling of sense in your warped misogynistic brain that God hates boobs when HE created them for HIS OWN purposes?

This is just another prime example of why religion really gets my goat. People use it to further their own personal agendas, when it’s convenient anyway. In claiming to be religious, he’s creating his own black hole of hypocrisy by stating that God hates a piece of the very anatomy he created. Perhaps he meant that God hates women who don’t keep their boobs to themselves…I could see the justification in his small little brain for that. Even then I don’t agree, but that’s at least a religiously valid argument.

So the moral of this lesson is: Don’t watch the news. Ever. It’s just gonna piss you off and make your ass laugh.

Happy Tuesday, my boobylicious friends.

A seasonally timeless rant

posted on Monday, February 19th, 2010 under Things that piss me off |

First, because I will be discussing a topic that is sensitive to most, here’s an important message from the first post I ever wrote:

If you’re offended by things I say, don’t read my blog.

You can keep your snarky comments. I don’t expect people to agree with me or my opinions and I hate it when people don’t understand that overall concept. Everything written here is my opinion. Dictionary.com defines “opinion” as:

1. a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.
2. a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.

Now that that’s cleared up…let me clear up one more thing. I was raised Catholic. Baptized in 4th grade, anyway. Took all the classes, went to PSR and weekly mass. Had to give something up every year for Lent. My confirmation name is Collette. Been there, done that, got pissed at being forced to do that and eventually quit. Haven’t gone back since.

Overall, my feelings on religion have less to do with beliefs as they do with hypocrisy. I don’t honestly know where I stand on the subject of believing in a higher power. I believe in science, and until science and religion can somehow coexist in a logical manner, I just can’t buy into it fully. I don’t buy that, if I live my life like a good person, but swear, have sex for fun, take birth control, drink, dance, believe in equal rights for women, don’t attend church and enjoy R-rated movies, that I’m going to be punished for it when I die. [Note: I'm drawing on multiple religions and denominations, not just Catholicism.]

I think everyone should live by the Golden Rule and we’ll all be just fine. And honestly, that’s the ROOT of most religions…but churches seem to be so much more interested in political agendas and business and money and being the biggest congregation in the state or whatever else they want that they’ve lost sight of the Golden Rule entirely. And the judging. Oh, I can’t stand the judging. I’m not one to quote the Bible, but I’m pretty sure it says something about letting he who is without sin cast the first stone. (Don’t get me started on the sexism.)

I also CANNOT STAND when people preach at me. If I want to learn about religion, I’ll study it academically and seek out the answers I want. I don’t need someone showing up on my doorstep or telling me over dinner what I need to do to keep myself from eternal damnation. No one can REALLY agree on that anyway, so just can it. I don’t need your brochures and I didn’t ask for your prayers for my soul.

So back to the hypocrisy and the root of my rant. It’s Lent season. Which really means little to me other than Mickey D’s is bringing back the Filet O’ Fish song (I really hope they develop that textable video from the new spot). But it really brings to focus how much fucking hypocrisy there is in this world. Don’t you dare go all Nazi-religious for the next few weeks and then return to your cussing, “sin”-filled life as soon as Zombie Jesus Day is over. That makes me sick.

This really applies every day, but this season really brings it to light for me. It’s cool if you use Lent as a reason to try to break a bad habit. I’ve done that. Failed miserably, but I gave it the good old college try. But I admitted that’s what I was doing. I never pretended that I was doing it because I was a good Catholic. It’s cool if you really believe in the reason for it and give something up as part of your belief system. I feel very strongly that, just as I’m allowed to have my opinions and beliefs, everyone else is allowed to have theirs.

But what I absolutely, positively cannot tolerate is phony holier-than-thou bullshit from people who are only holy on Sundays or during key religious seasons. What the fuck does it matter if you go to church every single Sunday if you embezzle millions of dollars from your company during the week? Or cheat on your spouse? Or worse, just use church as a status symbol to further your personal agenda? Or just don’t really believe in the teachings unless it’s convenient for you? Barf. Get over yourself.

Not everyone is perfect in their lives and aren’t really expected to be in most religions, from what I understand. And that’s not what makes me mad. Mostly because those aren’t the people who throw religion around like they’re some kind of saint or something.

I just can’t stand the deceit that seems to have permeated so much of our culture today. I don’t wish anybody harm, I genuinely want to be a useful part of society and I really do care about the people around me. If that means some unseen force is going to punish me when I die, then I guess that’s just too bad. I just hope there’s a Filet O’ Fish waiting to welcome me to hell.