I have been so.fucking.good and I have only managed to lose 6 stupid, measly, still-don’t-make-my-clothes-fit-better pounds. For example, today the girls wanted to go out to lunch. I usually avoid eating out because I can’t control my points as well, but I really need out of the office. We ended up at Pasta House. I ordered off the low-fat menu and got the lunch Spaghetti Pomodoro and requested fat-free dressing on my salad. I only ate half of the spaghetti. I did have a roll…I know I should have skipped it, but I wanted it and I never splurge. Whatever. I didn’t cave and order a cream sauce, so that’s a good start. And I only had one roll, not half the basket. Another good start.
But seriously. I research restaurants before I go if I know I have to eat out. I don’t use buns anymore. I miss pizza, nachos and fries. Like, obsessively miss them…but also obsessively avoid them. Boring. I haven’t worked out as hard as I probably should, but even if it’s playing DDR for an hour, I make sure I do something physical every night. I never use my extra flex points for the week (maybe one or two here and there…but nowhere near all 35).
It’s just frustrating because, when I was lazy and eating like total crap, I was maintaining my cow-like weight. Now, I’m doing all the things I should be doing to lose, and it’s barely coming off. I don’t want to be a moose anymore! But I also don’t want to be so miserable and nervous about food. Where’s the fine line? Where do I find balance? I really don’t like this. No shit it’s going to be hard, but I feel like it’s damn near impossible. Don’t worry, I’ll stop blog-bitching about this soon. Promise.
But in other news, I’m flying out for my first biznass trip ever on Monday, to return Tuesday. I have to be at the airport by 5:25 AM – eeewwwwww! And I don’t have Ms. B or Mr. T to cling to during takeoff and landing. And I can’t take any meds that will make me drowsy for hours because, duh, it’s a work trip and I have to be on my game for the meeting. Wish me luck. Maybe I’ll print this out and glue it in my notebook so I can look at it when I’m really aggravated…(thanks, Tomato, for giving me this gem).