I was watching the news this morning (always a mistake, but I have to know what weather to dress for and those sneaky rat bastards are constantly drizzling weather nuggets throughout the whole damn show so you have to watch at least 3 segments before you really know what’s 50% likely to happen outside today…and doesn’t “weather nuggets” sound like it’s gonna rain poo?? That’d be disgusting but funny from inside…).
Anyway, I caught a preview of the story they were doing on Boobquake. If you’re not familiar, read the Facebook page. I happen to find it hilarious that a religious nutball thinks immodest dress causes earthquakes (and it pisses me off that he also believes a woman’s form of dress essentially validates rape and adultery as it causes men to “go astray,” which in turn causes earthquakes). But what really made me laugh till I farted (I like to think my ass was laughing, too) was a video clip of a protest where a man was holding a sign that read, “GOD HATES BOOBS!” Even funnier? The “oo” was blurred out. Really? We feel the need to censor to WORD boob? Wowza.
God hates boobs, eh? I’ll play your game for a second, you self-righteous bigot. Let’s say I absolutely believe in God. God created everything. God wants humans to procreate and thus created humans to do so. Okay, if that’s true, then obviously God created boobs. They feed the children born through the process God created. So how, pray tell, does it even make an inkling of sense in your warped misogynistic brain that God hates boobs when HE created them for HIS OWN purposes?
This is just another prime example of why religion really gets my goat. People use it to further their own personal agendas, when it’s convenient anyway. In claiming to be religious, he’s creating his own black hole of hypocrisy by stating that God hates a piece of the very anatomy he created. Perhaps he meant that God hates women who don’t keep their boobs to themselves…I could see the justification in his small little brain for that. Even then I don’t agree, but that’s at least a religiously valid argument.
So the moral of this lesson is: Don’t watch the news. Ever. It’s just gonna piss you off and make your ass laugh.
Happy Tuesday, my boobylicious friends.