Sarah Gone Wild

Just want to be clear about that. I wish there was something you could do to keep farts from smelling, because I’ve been producing some of the funniest sounding farts of my life and I’d really like to show that off.

Moving on.

I’ve been working on my sister’s website for her jewelry for a while now, but I’m no developer and I keep getting the same effing error 500 every time I try to upload images to the gallery. If any of you are familiar with Joomla!, I’d be much obliged if you would comment and help me out.

In the meantime, I helped her start her Etsy shop. She is a talented chica – I still can’t get over my wedding jewelry. LOVE! She’s starting small until she gets a better idea of what sells, but if any of you are interested, check out her shop – DesignByJulieJewelry. She’s working on adding pieces in all price ranges, but that shit takes time. That’s something neither of us have in abundance these days. And don’t hate on the design of her banner and avatar. I never claimed to be a designer. I’m just trying to be helpful.

I wore my skinny jeans on Saturday. I am certified skinny jean approved – meaning they were straight AND gay approved. I’ll take that. And I’m not gonna lie…I wasn’t going to ever wear them again until JD said they looked good. I puffy heart JD. I hope he and his Elvis-impersonating ex can make up because they were the cutest couple ever. Hear that, Elvis boy? Ditch the Gaysian.

In other news, I got my wedding set back. I had my rings resized finally (and dipped) and it’s so great to wear them again…finally. Now I hope I can lose my last 10 pounds. I don’t see my fuzzy sausage fingers getting any smaller, but I’d sure like to stop jiggling when I do cardio.

So, my doc put me on a diuretic the last time I went in because I’ve had borderline high BP in the past and this time it was even higher. Yep, I’m 28, just lost over 50 pounds and my BP went up. I call bullshit. This makes me so mad. It’s gotta be genetics, but still…even worse, it’s messing with my workouts. Friday I came home after a milkshake party at work, where I consumed far too many milkshake samples. I decided I had to work out to burn some of that off. I actually got a little sick before I worked out, but I figured I got some of the sugar out of my system and I’d be better off. I turned on level 3 of the Shred and got to it.

I noticed that I was struggling to keep up, but I figured it was because I took a few days off (and a few weeks off from the Shred). I kept at it until circuit three, when I felt like I might pass out and my heart was beating irregularly. I turned off the DVD and laid down on my mat until my heart calmed down. Then I stood up and started walking to the stairs. I got about halfway to the stairs when my vision dimmed and I almost passed out. I got upstairs, showered and laid down for a while. No shit, I felt drunk the rest of the night. I didn’t have anything at all to drink!

So I figured A) I was dehydrated like a mother, B) I’m a little out of shape still (duh) and C) consuming high levels of dairy and sugar right before a workout is probably the worst idea in the history of ever.

I came home tonight and decided to move back to level 2. I managed to get through it, but I couldn’t do all the reps and my heart was going nuts. So now I’m thinking the meds are just fucking with me. Will I get used to this? Will it go away? The suckiest part is my insurance ended yesterday from the old gig and insurance from the new gig doesn’t kick in until March…so I can’t go to the doc or anything. Blech.

Well, I have to pee again (I feel like a preggo or something!). Enjoy these.

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