Stranger danger!

So, Mr. T works with this chick and I’m convinced she’s in love with him and he doesn’t believe me. So I’ll leave it to you all to decide.

Let me start by saying that I trust 100% that my husband would never even think about cheating on me. But other bitches don’t know that. And if they do, some will take it as a challenge and try to step up their wooing game. I generally despise other girls because, let’s face it, most are catty bitches who never mentally graduated from middle school. They play games and don’t respect other girls. This is a broad generalization (hahahaha), and doesn’t apply to the girls in my circle, of course, but even they had to prove at some point that they weren’t typical girls before I really let them in – and I expect nothing but the same in return.

Some background. T works in sales and is out of the office and on his phone quite a bit. Even when he’s home for the night, he still takes work calls. Almost every single morning, someone from his office calls him. He is available 24/7. I hate it, and I know he does, too, but that’s the job.

Here’s the thing. The girl in question, who is single and the secretary, calls him a lot. A call may start with a work-related question (I suspect that she acts stupid about stuff just to call him), and then she transitions to complaining about their boss (which is fine, and I can totally relate to needing to vent), but she continues the conversation FOREVER. And he doesn’t often cut her off and say that he’s home with me and wants to spend time with me. Not that I’m generally jealous, but this irritates me because I know it feeds her ideas about where she stands with him. By continuing to spend time talking to her, she knows she’s got his attention.

He thinks, because she always says she wants to meet me, that it means she’s not interested. Oh, no, my misguided male companion. That means just the opposite – she wants T and I to FEEL like she’s safe, but is also trying to size me up and get closer to him. It’s all part of the immature game.

While I have no problem with him having female friends, I do have an issue with him not creating any boundaries for this girl. I’m the wifey. I’m number one. I need to feel that way, and she needs to know, without a doubt, that I am far more important than her. I mean, she even calls on weekends sometimes. SHE doesn’t work weekends. T does, but that doesn’t mean she has cause to call him. He does not report to her, so there’s really no need for it. But it does, and he’ll talk to her while we’re in the car together, at home together…he’ll walk in the door on the phone at night and continue to talk for another ten or twenty minutes.

And yes, I am an insecure freak. So that definitely doesn’t help me out, but her behavior just SCREAMS to me that she’s interested in my husband. I hear her giggle when they talk. *Barf* Bottom line, she can want him all she wants. She’ll never have him. However, he needs to set boundaries…no weekend calls, keep the calls short, don’t spend a long time talking to her when he’s home with me. I get that they like to bitch about work together, and that’s 100% understandable and cool by me – it just needs to stop when his 45-minute drive home ends at our driveway.

I didn’t think anything of it for a while, but it just seems like her calls are getting more frequent (and happen outside of work hours more often) and that’s what makes me suspicious of her intentions. It’s not like I want him to confront her, or that I feel the need to go all Jerry Springer on her ass and say, “Bitch, step off my man!” and snap my fingers…because that’s unnecessary and very overdramatic. I just want some boundaries. Am I being unreasonable on this?

 

8 Responses to “Stranger danger!”

  • First, I totally agree with you regarding girls. They suck. And guys don’t get it. A comment that seems innocent to a guy is LOADED with intent, and other girls totally recognize that. I have to explain that to Chad all the time.

    Anyway, I do think he needs to set up boundaries. Whether or not she’s got a thing for him (and for the record, I think she does), it’s just not appropriate to be on the phone that long outside of work hours unless the call is purely business. And it’s obviously not. So yes, he just needs to start saying things like, “Well, I just pulled into my driveway…” or “Sarah has dinner ready so…” or “I need to hang out with my wife for a bit…” Hopefully, she’ll get the hint and stop calling all the time and dragging the convos out.

  • Maria:

    I don’t think you are being unreasonable. There is no need to talk on the phone that long with her when he is home. He needs to politely cut the conversation off after whatever issue that is being discussed is resolved.

  • wow. i 100% agree on your suspected reasons for her saying she wants to meet you – i totally believe she wants to size you up (see who her “competition” is, even though there’s no contest) and get even more in T’s good graces.

    and i completely agree with you about the retardedness that is the female gender. many, many girls are stuck in the past and still live according to the high school girl code, which is pretty sad. thankfully there are some good ones out there who have grown up and have their shit together.
    for what it’s worth, i would be jealous if i were in your shoes, too. even though you know your man would never cheat, just the thought that he is giving a little extra time to another girl would indeed be upsetting. i agree with kristal and maria that he should establish some boundaries, and there are some nice ways to do that.

  • I think you are being reasonable. How annoying.

    And the baby started talking to your monkey picture so I guess he agrees.

  • Lisa:

    Ditto every snippet of what Kristal said. Yes, I think she’s interested, but that’s not even the issue. Boundaries need to be put in place, period.

  • I totally agree with everyone else. Yes, she’s into him and yes, he needs to set boundaries. He probably doesn’t even realize that he’s leading her on with their little chats.

    If you decide to go all Jerry Springer on her though, I’ll totally help you!

  • Liz:

    So I’m really late on this but wow, this girl has got it bad for your husband. He needs to keep it professional and when she calls, he should answer her work question and then just say “hey, I have to go, but did that answer your question?” A few times of that should do it. Or she’ll get really agressive and you’ll have to go all Jerry Springer.

  • Hi! This has nothing to do with your post, but I had a question for you. I saw your comment on Sarah’s post about weight. Do you have the SYTYCD workout video yet? I didn’t realize one was coming it, but it sounds great. That is my favorite show. I was wondering if you thought the workout was good? I could use some good cardio.

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