Sarah Gone Wild

I mean, come on, it only makes sense…so why would I do it? Probably the same reason I permed my hair, wore alternating colors of stacked tube socks over stirrup pants, ran away from home in elementary school and looked down the mumu of a guy named Harley…it all seemed like a good idea at the time. And peer pressure. Probably more of the latter.

So here we are, post one of a colorful blogging career. Why would people want to read about me? Um, have you met me? I’m kind of a BFD (lacking a typeface to indicate pure sarcasm…) But really…my goal in life is to humorously quasi-offend the general population, subsequently entertaining those I know and love…or despise…or whatever I happen to feel that day.

Key things you should know – I’m ass deep in wedding planning (don’t even mention the word elope or risk incurring the wrath of Sass), I love the color pink (obsessed, really), my fiance is probably the only thing in the world I love more than the color pink, I’m highly emotional and really enjoy off-color jokes. I don’t discriminate – I’m an equal opportunity smartass. If you’re offended by things I say, don’t read my blog.

You can keep your snarky comments. I don’t expect people to agree with me or my opinions and I hate it when people don’t understand that overall concept. Everything written here is my opinion. Dictionary.com defines “opinion” as:

Need more disclaimer? Oh, bring it on…

This blog is for entertainment purposes only. Please read all instructions and warnings prior to use. Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead or undead, is purely coincidental (you are getting veeeery sleepy). This blog is not a chinchilla deterrent. In case of fire, remove pants. Do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence of this blog. If an erection last longer than four hours, congratulations – you probably weren’t using that bloodflow for intellectual purposes anyway. It wasn’t me, I wasn’t there, I have no idea to what you are referring. This blog has not been evaluated by the FDA and is not meant to diagnose, treat or cure any medical condition…but you are a crazy bitch and need to lay off the crack. This blog was not created with pregnancy in mind. Please consult your doctor before beginning this or any other blog regimen. Void where prohibited.

Edit: Side effects may include (but are not limited to) heartburn, nausea, a sudden and urgent desire to pee one’s pants, sleepwalking, an unexpected gambling addiction and total loss of faith in humanity. Sorry.

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