Archive for October, 2009
So, Mr. T works with this chick and I’m convinced she’s in love with him and he doesn’t believe me. So I’ll leave it to you all to decide.
Let me start by saying that I trust 100% that my husband would never even think about cheating on me. But other bitches don’t know that. And if they do, some will take it as a challenge and try to step up their wooing game. I generally despise other girls because, let’s face it, most are catty bitches who never mentally graduated from middle school. They play games and don’t respect other girls. This is a broad generalization (hahahaha), and doesn’t apply to the girls in my circle, of course, but even they had to prove at some point that they weren’t typical girls before I really let them in – and I expect nothing but the same in return.
Some background. T works in sales and is out of the office and on his phone quite a bit. Even when he’s home for the night, he still takes work calls. Almost every single morning, someone from his office calls him. He is available 24/7. I hate it, and I know he does, too, but that’s the job.
Here’s the thing. The girl in question, who is single and the secretary, calls him a lot. A call may start with a work-related question (I suspect that she acts stupid about stuff just to call him), and then she transitions to complaining about their boss (which is fine, and I can totally relate to needing to vent), but she continues the conversation FOREVER. And he doesn’t often cut her off and say that he’s home with me and wants to spend time with me. Not that I’m generally jealous, but this irritates me because I know it feeds her ideas about where she stands with him. By continuing to spend time talking to her, she knows she’s got his attention.
He thinks, because she always says she wants to meet me, that it means she’s not interested. Oh, no, my misguided male companion. That means just the opposite – she wants T and I to FEEL like she’s safe, but is also trying to size me up and get closer to him. It’s all part of the immature game.
While I have no problem with him having female friends, I do have an issue with him not creating any boundaries for this girl. I’m the wifey. I’m number one. I need to feel that way, and she needs to know, without a doubt, that I am far more important than her. I mean, she even calls on weekends sometimes. SHE doesn’t work weekends. T does, but that doesn’t mean she has cause to call him. He does not report to her, so there’s really no need for it. But it does, and he’ll talk to her while we’re in the car together, at home together…he’ll walk in the door on the phone at night and continue to talk for another ten or twenty minutes.
And yes, I am an insecure freak. So that definitely doesn’t help me out, but her behavior just SCREAMS to me that she’s interested in my husband. I hear her giggle when they talk. *Barf* Bottom line, she can want him all she wants. She’ll never have him. However, he needs to set boundaries…no weekend calls, keep the calls short, don’t spend a long time talking to her when he’s home with me. I get that they like to bitch about work together, and that’s 100% understandable and cool by me – it just needs to stop when his 45-minute drive home ends at our driveway.
I didn’t think anything of it for a while, but it just seems like her calls are getting more frequent (and happen outside of work hours more often) and that’s what makes me suspicious of her intentions. It’s not like I want him to confront her, or that I feel the need to go all Jerry Springer on her ass and say, “Bitch, step off my man!” and snap my fingers…because that’s unnecessary and very overdramatic. I just want some boundaries. Am I being unreasonable on this?
Maybe this is a sign of good things to come???
Remember my post about the handbag giveaway? The Fantabulously Frugal Lisa partnered with Handbag Heaven to give away a handbag to two lucky girls – and out of hundreds of entries, I was one of those two lucky bitches!!! Holla!
After telling everyone I ever met that I actually won something (besides the tye-dyed beach towel from a magazine giveaway in like 1991), I started searching for the bag I wanted to make mine. After much hemming and hawing (what the hell does that mean anyway? I don’t think I actually hemmed or hawed once…), I chose this little beauty, The Moxie:
I know, I played it safe. Maybe I should have gone for something bolder that I wouldn’t use as much, but I really liked this purple beauty. And would I really carry a lime green hobo bag around? Well, yes, I probably would, but this is what I chose and I’m sticking to it.
So thanks for holding such an awesome giveaway, ladies, and thank you, Mr. Random Number Generator, for making me a winner!
Oh, and for all you glowing pregos reading my blog, this one’s for you. xo
I know I have a ways to go yet, but I had a realization today that I think might help me over this mental hump I’ve reached.
So, I was at Old Navy over lunch, on my quest for shirts that fit. Most of my closet contains clothes that are pretty sloppy looking on me now, and I’d like to look halfway decent when I go out in public, plus I’m getting a kick out of catching glimpses my hot new bod reflecting back at me from tinted windows (but no, I’m not that girl…stick with me).
So, I’m trolling the clearance aisle and I head straight for the rack of mediums, grab a handful of items and head to the fitting room. No shit, every single shirt fit. I actually got to pick what I bought based on what I really WANTED, instead of having what fit dictate my purchases. I’m THAT girl! I can fit in stuff! I mean, I can actually look at stuff and know how it’s going to fit and that there are pretty good chances that I’ll look pretty decent in it. For people who have never been big, you have NO IDEA what an incredible feeling this is. Shopping is finally fun again.
Oh, and I exchanged a size 12 pants for a size 10 this weekend. I don’t even care that they run big, because now I can say, “Oh, I’m a 10 or 12, depending on how they’re made.” Again, if you haven’t been heavy, you really cannot identify with how impactful this statement is. I comfortably fit in the misses department and I don’t have to wonder if or when I’ll need to start shopping the women’s department. I can even buy some juniors-sized stuff (mostly shirts, but not button down, and not pants because juniors aren’t fitted for tits, hips or asses).
But in cue-sad-violin-music news, my knee is not cooperating with this whole running thing. I might be changing my mind on that whole thing…we’ll see.
Well, okay, I was just recruited to go do on-the-street focus groups on the Loop…great. Peace out, homefries.
Before you get all riled up reading this, please refer to this. And note: I have a lot of crap running through my brain right now and this could get jumbled.
Okay. As you all know, I myself am a woman who struggles with my self image and weight. I absolutely believe that the media promotes an unhealthy body image for women – to a certain degree. But as someone who also has a handle on reality, I understand why so many skinny women are used in advertising, particularly for men’s products. Come on, how would Axe sell its nauseating line of “manly” body fragrance if the spots showed a dude being chased down by a herd of plus-sized, jiggly women? I don’t think many people would jump at the chance to buy that, no matter what reality is…they are selling a FANTASY. Period.
Along the same lines, it pisses me off to hear people bitch about how thin runway models are. Please note: there is a HUGE difference between high fashion and ready to wear. For high fashion, the women are simply over-glamorized clothes hangers. They are not SUPPOSED to be curvy – they are selling an ideal, the actual piece that hangs off of them. They are not selling themselves in it. On the other hand, I fully believe that larger models absolutely should be used to model and showcase ready to wear fashion as these items need to show how they look on a body. That is their purpose – to be worn by actual humans. Therefore, it makes sense to show how these clothes look on a variety of sizes – INCLUDING small sizes. If we’re going to embrace diversity, that means you can’t begin to alienate the skinny.
That said, I have very strong feelings on perpetuating the idea that being larger AND unhealthy is okay. It absolutely IS.NOT. Show me a curvy model with cellulite who believes in eating well and exercising regularly and I fully support her having a successful, long career. Show me a slightly overweight, totally out of shape model and I resolutely object. At the same time, I equally object to interviewing skinny-fat models who talk about how they never work out and eat anything they want. Guess what, lady? You’re just as likely to drop dead of heart failure as a visibly overweight person is.
Bottom line – we all need to work on being HEALTHY. Who gives a flying fuck what size you are if you are taking care of yourself? I know that I will never be a two, or a four, or even a six. I’ll be LUCKY if I can ever squeeze these wasted-on-me childbearing hips into a size eight. But you know what? I’m okay with being a 10 or a 12 because I know I’m doing everything I can to be my healthy best.
To the models who bitch about the standards they are held to – shut the fuck up. You CHOSE this career knowing full well what was expected of you. Same with actresses. It is your job to be pretty and thin. You get paid to work out every day and hire personal chefs. There’s nothing wrong with gaining a few pounds if you are still being healthy, so I do wish the media would back off on that crap, but if you can’t handle the pressure of being in the public eye, you shouldn’t have chosen this path in life.
And one more thing…at some point, we as a society need to begin explaining what Photoshop is to young girls so they don’t feel the need to hold themselves to a completely unattainable standard of beauty. Advertising sells. It sells the ideal we all pursue. That’s why these images are so common. You’ll never get away from that, but it’s important to educate young girls on this process so they understand (and tell the boys about it, too, so their expecations are a little more realistic). And again, I do think there are a lot of products that can sell just as well by featuring a diverse range of people…but just as stupid things like homophobia, sexism and racism will always exist on some level, so will prejudice against those who are overweight.
And I’m not done yet. It’s not okay to pick on someone because of their size. It’s okay to be big and beautiful…but only to an extent. If you choose to overeat and not exercise, you are deciding to put your health at risk. It’s sickening to see how quickly the percentage of overweight children continues to grow. Don’t let your bad decisions negatively impact your children’s lives. Kids these days are fucking ruthless. Even when I was a kid, I remember being called ”Thunder Thighs” when I was heavier and then “Jolly Green Giant” and “Tree” when I hit a growth spurt and got tall and lanky. That hurt a lot.
It’s not okay that the “normal” kids make fun of the fat kids, but I seriously believe that there should be some sort of child neglect charge that can be brought against parents who let their children become obese. It is NOT FAIR to them. They learn from you and if you teach them to comfort themselves with food and not exercise, you are perpetuating a dangerous and unnecessary cycle. It is not easy to stay healthy, and it’s okay to not eat perfectly all the time, but come on. Parents have GOT to be held accountable for the actions they pass on to their kids. Parents can be charged with leaving their kids home alone, or in a car alone, or buying alcohol for minors, but not for overfeeding their kids. All are irresponsible, but only one is overlooked.
Which brings me to my next point. When we were on vacay, Mr. T said something about not believing in food addiction, that saying you are addicted to food is just an excuse. I got heated and yelled a little because I truly believe all overweight people have some level of food addiction that gets them and keeps them heavy. How can you say alcoholism is a disease, but not food addiction? You don’t need to drink liquor to survive, but you absolutely, 100% need to eat to live. How is it so hard to understand that food is addictive if people are expected to consume it every single day? And don’t even get me started on the fucking food industry and the chemicals they put in foods to make them addicitive. You can’t quit eating. You will fucking die. Even when you overcome your dependency on food, it will forever be in front of you, tempting you. You can throw out all the alcohol or keep drugs out of the house, but there is no way you can avoid interacting with food.
I’m running out of steam here. I know I’ve made some huge generalizations that won’t apply to 100% of cases, but I’m just so sick of some of these debates that I read about. Whether it’s Dove’s campaign for real beauty being bashed because Dove is owned by the same people who own Axe or Glamour running articles on big and beautiful models (size 8 is so not big, by the way), I feel like some of the most important points are being completely overlooked. There are circumstances that dictate the need for super skinny women, but there is also a lack of focus on being truly healthy. It starts with parenting and continues through the media and social pressures. Women need to know HOW to love themselves, whether they are big, small or normal – whatever the fuck that is.
I don’t know how you would pick just one, but Handbag Heaven and Fantabulously Frugal have teamed up for an awesome purse giveaway. Who couldn’t use another piece in their handbag collection?
But how do you choose? I had to pick one favorite, but I’m digging all of these:
(but probably in pink)
And the one I picked as my fave, just because it’s the most versatile and has a happy bit o’bling:
But is it really my fave??? I just can’t decide. They’re all so fabulous! What would you pick?