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Archive for November, 2008

Less swoony, more pissy

posted on Monday, November 24th, 2008 under General Ramblings |

So, I saw Twilight again on Saturday. It didn’t help that I was in the process of getting sick again, but I have to say…I liked the movie far less the second time around. The initial thrill of waiting in line at the midnight showing was gone and I knew what would be different, so I had more time to examine the details.

The one thing I absolutely adore about the movie is the soundtrack - it’s phenomenal. The lullaby is amazing, and I loved how they tied it in throughout the movie. And how hot is Rob playing the piano? Definitely still swooned over that.

The things that bothered me more – the poor direction given at key points in the story. Edward had a definite reaction to Bella’s smell, but the movie did it all wrong – it should NOT have been funny. It should have been more intense, less overacted. I would blame Rob, but as you watch the movie, you can see how strong his acting can be, so I blame the director. She should have known it was going to come off as cheesy. Jasper should not have looked so stunned throughout the movie. Basically, I think the actors were too reliant on their eyes to convey emotions. It should have been more subtle – it would have eliminated the multiple scenes where facial expressions inspired laughter in the audience.

I didn’t like the early introduction of Jacob and the fact that he didn’t break the treaty. How hard would it have been to follow that part of the story? I guess harder than I thought or it would have been done.

Prom also bugged the hell out of me – WTF? Where was the part with Alice getting her ready? They cut way too much Alice out – that’s my favorite person! And what was that horrific ensemble they put her in? Leggings and a tennis shoe????? The cardigan? Who does that? Ick. All wrong.

I didn’t like how the restaurant was crowded, and the waitress was NOT pretty. What was with her hair? So weird. And why wasn’t Angela nicer? And where was Ben? Again, probably cut for length, but still. And where did that whole newspaper thing come from? No need to add superfluous storylines if you’re going to cut other things!!! And the spider monkey line had me laughing like crazy, but it was totally out of character. I will come at you like a spider monkey! I’m all hopped up on Mountain Dew!

I think, if you hadn’t read the book, you wouldn’t grasp the depth of the love story. It seemed very rushed. I think they could have easily added 20 minutes to the movie (leaving it at a full 2.5 hours long) and gotten a lot more impact. The casting is great (when Jasper isn’t channeling Johnny Depp, he’s totally hot), with a few exceptions, but you can’t please everyone. It’s extremely hard to make a movie out of a beloved book series (don’t even get me started on the Harry Potter reviews), and I think this was an adequate attempt, but if there could be a change in screenwriter, better direction and more budget, it would have been much better. Let’s hope the next three improve drastically!

But at the end of the day, who am I kidding? The hotness alone justifies seeing it 2 or 3 more times and then buying it on DVD. Sorry, Mr. T!

And the new HP is out in July! Woohoo!

Fast forward, please.

How can you be crabby…

posted on Monday, November 21st, 2008 under General Ramblings |

…when you are looking at this???? My pal Claire sent me this and I can’t stop watching. 22,662 other viewers agree. It’s mind numbing adorableness at its finest.

Enjoy. Bring on the baby talk, I’ve been doing it all day.



Still swooning.

posted on Monday, November 21st, 2008 under General Ramblings |

I got about 3.5 hours of sleep last night because I went to the midnight showing of Twilight with my sister. The Harry Potter trailer at the beginning was enough to justify it alone, but I can’t get over how amazing Rob Pattinson looked in this movie. He’s generally hotness anyway, but the makeup and styling in the movie just made him that much more dreamy.

The movie itself, however, was disappointing. Sure, I’ll see it again Saturday and probably a few times after that, and I’ll buy it on DVD, but that’s more a testament to the story than the actual movie. I know lots of people will be seeing the movie so I won’t say anything too specific, but if you’ve read the MSN review of the movie, suffice it say that I agree with the entire article. And it pissed me off that the kitchen cabinets were light blue, not yellow at all. I mean, that was a detail that was carefully written in the book – how hard would it have been to keep that consistent? Little things like that aggravated me to no end.

I will also say this – pay attention to Jasper (what little footage of him there is, anyway). I watched the entire movie wondering what character he reminded me of so strongly. At the end of the movie, it hit me - Edward Scissorhands. Seriously, he was channeling Johnny Depp like nobody’s business.

It annoyed me how inadvertantly funny a lot of scenes were, but conversely, I enjoyed the humor that was intentionally added. I do admit that Stewart really was a good pick for Bella. Some of her scenes were definitely overacted, but in a teen movie, what more should you expect? Overall, for a 2 hour adaptation of a 600+ page book, the storyline didn’t change too terribly much. Sure, a lot of it felt rushed, but that’s to be expected. I didn’t like the way Angela was depicted, and I’m guessing Ben has been cut out entirely, so that was disappointing. I think more of the original dialogue from the book could have been maintained, but those who see the movie without reading the book obssessively won’t even notice.

Bottom line, for all intents and purposes, it was an entertaining movie (I’m still swooning over Rob playing the piano and hearing his songs in the background). Movie versions of books never fully do justice to the books themselves, so take it as what it is. The book (as always) was a million times better, but having two hours filled with Edward, Emmett, Jasper and James (evil can be so delicious) is definitely worthwhile.


Yeah. Because THAT makes sense.

posted on Monday, November 20th, 2008 under General Ramblings |

Let’s take a journey, my friends, into the land of WhothoughtthatwasagoodideabecauseboydoIhavenewsforyou.

I work in advertising. Our agency does a lot of interactive work. We have a partner agency in another state with whom we interact on a daily basis, through email, phone calls and file transfers. We are in a new office. We recently had phones installed. Not regular phones. Oh, no. VOIP (voice over Internet protocol) phones. Yes, phones that use the power of the interwebs…meaning that, when something is being downloaded or uploaded, the phones drop calls due to bandwidth limitations that apparently cannot be fixed.

I reiterate – our day-to-day tasks rely on being able to TALK ON THE PHONE AND TRANSFER FILES…AT THE SAME TIME…but we can’t because those two key functions disrupt each other. Not to mention, no streaming music or video…nice.

Oh, how I envy those who live in a magical place where phone and Internet work simultaneously. I just don’t know what some people are thinking when they make recommendations.

Yeah, something like that.

Sheesh, I get it already.

posted on Monday, November 18th, 2008 under General Ramblings |

Yes, the holidays are coming. I get it. Enough already. It was bad enough that a local station converted to all Christmas, all the time – before Halloween. Sure, it was because they needed a hook to get listeners while they worked on reformatting the station to a full sports format, but still.

Then, each year, stores put Christmas crap out earlier and earlier. I don’t want to dress up like Santa for Halloween, okay? I don’t want to see festive ribbon before I see skulls and blood. I don’t want Hannukah back-to-school items. I don’t even want to think about the impending doom that is holiday shopping until my belly is full of turkey and pie.

Even worse, I do NOT need ABC Family to countdown until the 25 days of Chrismas. First of all, now it’s 25 days??? What happened to 12??? That was good enough. Second, A COUNTDOWN TO A COUNTDOWN???? Who decided that was even NECESSARY? Talk about redundancy.

As you can tell, I am not a fan of Christmas. I’m a scrooge. I do enjoy buying gifts for people, but I’m not rich and can never afford anything really great, so that bothers the hell out of me. Sure, I like getting gifts, but I hate people feeling obligated to do anything, I hate opening gifts in front of others and I hate thinking that people spent money that they needed for bills on something for me. Unnecessary, in my opinion. I do like holiday baking and spending time with my immediate family, but nothing else about the holidays really appeals to me. I come from a divorced family, and once you add in my married family, holidays become way more stress than I care to handle. I can’t be 5 places at once. If you didn’t raise me or my husband, don’t bank on seeing me.

Not to mention the added gloom of this being my first holiday without either of my grandmothers…I don’t even want to think about how sad it’s going to be.

So a note to all you die-hard Christmas fans – give me another week and a half and THEN I’ll begrudgingly accept your annoyingly joyful celebration. Until then, back off. Bah humbug.

Scrooge yourself.

I’ll be lovin’ you forever

posted on Monday, November 11th, 2008 under General Ramblings |

Just as long as you want me to be.


 Call me lame, I totally don’t care. Last night was amazing. Totally cheesy, but amazing. First of all, Natasha Bedingfield was awesome. She’s really talented (guess it runs in the family) and completely adorable. She was a great opener, although I would have LOVED to see me some Vanilla Ice. Too much in one night, I suspect.

It took FOREVER for the main show to begin. BUT…since our tickets were in section 301, we got upgraded and ended up sitting in the second row up from the main floor, so we were really excited. Thanks for having an anniversary, Lynn, and selling me your tickets!!! We were wondering what they’d open with. My guess was they’d amp up the crowd with the first line of Step by Step and then immediately transition into one of their new songs (which I don’t like at all…the new stuff just doesn’t have the same memories tied to it and it just doesn’t do anything for me). But alas, they didn’t even start with a good teaser…just busted in with Boyfriend or whatever the crap that song is…I mean, there was a cool video intro with some video from them back in the day, but music wise, I was disappointed.

But overall, the show was just fantastic. They did a great job of mixing the new stuff in with the old (they even let Jordan and Joey do their solo hits, although I could have lived without that). But the BEST part of the whole night was when the guys moved down to a rotating stage with a piano on it…literally 30 yards away from us. I could see all their sad little wrinkles.

I had a revelation as well. I always said Danny was my favorite, and mostly because I felt bad that everyone loved all the other guys so much and called him a monkey. So I figured he needed to have at least one fan, so I stepped up and took on that role. I wish I had my giant I Heart Danny pin…although, now that I’m older, I Heart Wood would be much funnier. But here’s the revelation…by choosing Danny as my favorite (and it was a big deal, all the discussions we had about it, sheesh), I was setting the groundwork for my “type.” Not the type I actually dated, but the type I swooned over for the rest of my life. Big biceps, tattoos, sweet smile. Ahhhhhh. A said last night that he’s a butterface (butthis face?), but I disagree. He’s got the right stuff. Baby.

I’m sad it’s over. It was so fun…although we were wondering how many times Jordan had to be kicked in the balls to maintain that falsetto. It was cute 20 years ago, but now it’s just a little creepy. Even Joey can’t sing as high as he used to. Oh well…further proof that Jordan is a giant douche. Even douchier than John Edward.

Bottom line, I recommend not calling me today unless you want to be serenaded with NKOTB songs by a girl who barely has a voice left from screaming like crazy all night. Just get on the floor and do the New Kids dance!

The white stuff.

Oh oh oh oh oh.

posted on Monday, November 10th, 2008 under General Ramblings |

Oh oh oh oh. Oh oh oh oh oh. The right stuff.

Tonight is the NKOTB concert. If you need me, I’ll be busy hangin’ tough.



We’re rough.

Write a bio??

posted on Monday, November 7th, 2008 under General Ramblings |

Boo. I hate writing bios. About myself or anyone else. But yet, here I am…needing to finesse 10 other bios and write my own. Luckily, it’s a work bio, so it won’t be a novel. I am, however, feeling the need for the writer’s bio to seem like just that, so this is the best place to start drafting. Here goes nothing.

At 7:53 AM on October 19, 1981, Sarah came screaming into the world, just as scheduled. Not too early, not too late. A fair estimation of her life to come, really. As her early years passed by, family members and teachers began to notice that, no matter how hard they tried, this thoughtful little girl simply would not be quiet. An overactive imagination, they called it. Report cards frequently noted high marks, tainted by comments suggesting that the bright young girl could do better still if she would just pay attention and stop chattering.

Twenty something years later, and Sarah has achieved more than anyone ever thought that talkative, overimaginative little girl could. Valedictorian of her high school class, graduated Summa Cum Laude from her undergraduate studies in marketing and advertising (with a minor in Spanish that has sadly gone unused and grown dusty over the years), completed MBA studies with a 4.0 GPA, talking, laughing and imagining all the while.

After completing her MBA program (with an emphasis in marketing, who knew?), Sarah nervously embarked on her first fully adult journey – finding a real job. She fought for and won a summer internship as a writer with ____. Once the internship was over, she talked her way into several freelance stints, first with _____ and another with _______. The latter quickly evolved into a fulltime position, and this chatterbox of a little girl was officially all grown up. She now proudly writes for _________, and has experience with everything from local mom and pop organizations to multi-billion dollar international corporations.

Her gift of storytelling serves for more than entertainment. She takes great enjoyment in crafting the story of a brand, bringing its personality to life in a way that appeals to consumers and clients alike. She has happily found a path in life that allows her to put her overactive imagination to work. Paired with an eye for grammar and a mind for strategic thought, Sarah offers a passionate energy for agency life. She still can’t sit still or be quiet for long periods of time, wears pink slippers around the office and tells horrible jokes, but hey. No one’s perfect, right?

Probably a bit too much, but it entertains me. We’ll see if it flies.


The Googlenator

posted on Monday, November 7th, 2008 under General Ramblings |

I hardly ever check the Google Analytics on this site. I mean, I started a blog as a writing outlet. I love getting comments, and I like knowing that sometimes I can make people laugh, but that’s really not why I started the blog. So why bother checking the Goog? I’ll tell you why. Because people are seriously fucked up and search for the weirdest things. Here are a few highlights from searches that led people here:

  • Inhospitable uterus. Damn you, wandering womb. Stop being so mean to my guests!
  • Black cheeks gone wild. Wow, I just don’t think I can help you with that one. Sorry.
  • Ego sarah can’t remember shit. But id sarah can, and that’s what really matters.
  • Fat ass pass. Well, if you’re gonna pass, why are you looking for it? That’s just mean.
  • Grandmas with huge fat asses. That’s a whole new variety of niche marketing right there.
  • Houseguests panties. Depends on the houseguest, really.
  • Hot buns and milkshakes. If by hot, you mean toasted, then sure! And I’ll never pass on a milkshake. It does bring all the boys to the yard, after all.
  • Order my panties. What, around? Panties, get in the kitchen and make me a pie! A drink? Here, panties, have a cosmo. From the store? Yes, I’d like them in pink, red and black, please.
  • Sarah blue black magic piss. It WOULD take magic to bruise urine. Just call me Harry fucking Pisser.

Awesome. I think I’ll check my analytics more often.

Aw, snap.

And not because I hate babies

posted on Monday, November 6th, 2008 under Things that piss me off |

This morning, when I was driving to work, I heard a March of Dimes PSA soliciting donations to benefit premature babies. Sure, that’s not my type of charity regardless, so I was hardly paying attention until I heard something that really pissed me off. The spot talks about how over 200 premie babies are born each week in Missouri. Okay, that’s sad…but the VO continues and says that the main form of prevention for premature birth is for the mother to quit smoking.

Okay, you want me to GIVE YOU MONEY to tell mothers that they shouldn’t smoke while pregnant? Go fuck yourself. I may not be a baby fan, but I do sympathize for mothers who struggle with and lose premature babies. That really is sad. And it’s not the baby’s fault that a moron with a nicotine addiction got knocked up, so it does seem really unfair. HOWEVER – given the level of public awareness of the dangers of smoking in today’s society – there is no way in hell I would even consider for a millisecond giving a single red cent of my hard earned money to tell some dumb ass woman that the reason she might go into labor early and kill her own offspring is because she refuses to drop the cancer stick.

Rant over.