Sarah Gone Wild

Archive for October, 2008

MSN is my homepage. I keep it that way because, every now and then, a gem like this pops up:

Stinky farts may help regulate blood pressure

Here’s what I want to know…what was the thought process that led to this discovery? I bet some uber-gassy scientist got tired of people calling him Dr. StankAss and said, “My smelly gas is good for me and I’ll prove it!” Then he started sniffing mouse butts and running tests and, viola! A discovery.

Mr. T will be so thrilled to hear about this one…

Today is a weird day. Bittersweet is the best word to describe it. I’m so happy I have a job still, but it’s very sad to know that I won’t be seeing many of the faces I grew so accustomed to seeing on a daily basis anymore. Friday was a sad day. Due to the financial strain of our failing economy, the owner of our company had to make some hard decisions. Those decisions resulted in the closing of one company and the opening of another. Basically, everyone was fired and only a few re-hired. I was one of the lucky few. Times are tough. I feel terrible for those who were let go, and can only hope that the few of us who remain will be able to make it through the next few months. I’m incredibly grateful to be here.

Here’s hoping the next president can figure out a better solution than a $750 trillion (okay, billion…I rounded up an -illion) dollar bandaid that barely begins to cover the gushing wound that is the American financial sector. In the meantime, who wants to go on a half million dollar spa retreat? Oh, that’s right. I haven’t been the one handing out subprime loans and getting the country into this mess. I don’t deserve a weekend getaway. Yet…

I like being busy and don’t mind working late when it’s needed…but if our client could just make up her stupid little mind, the collective life of the creative department wouldn’t have sucked nearly as much in recent history. If she comes back tomorrow and dislikes our direction (the one she dictated to us after two weeks of failed attempts at mind reading), I am going to Georgia to administer a straight up donkey punch. Suffice it to say, work has been one of the main reasons behind my lack of quasi-public appearances.

I am trying so hard to get caught up on life in general. I feel like I’ve become a stranger unto myself these days. I just want everything to stop for a day or two. I feel like things are moving so quickly. I mean, yesterday ushered in my LATE 20s. That sucks. I’m no spring chicken anymore. I feel like a frumpy old sack of potatoes. I need to get back to the gym. I need to grocery shop. I need to stop saying what I need to do and do it already.

I have to go. I hear the spray booth turning on…that means someone is spraying glue. I need to get in on that action…